Travelling

A lot of people list on their CVs that they like travelling. I do too. And I really mean it. I don't particularly enjoy the actual "travelling" (that is, getting to and from a place), but I enjoy seeing new places, meeting new people, experiencing new and diverse cultures, etc. - it grows me as a person. So what is bad about travelling? I really don't like airports. And to those people who think business travel is glamorous - it isn't! Waiting for hours in cold airports is not my idea of fun. Unless of course you are waiting in a comfortable armchair in a business class lounge in a big airport, enjoying some nice snacks (or a full meal) and a glass of your favourite drink. Neither is being in a hotel on your own. Hotel dinners are not that good either, even if the hotel is supposed to be good! And if you think that airmiles / hotel points / etc are a nice benefit, well it takes ages to collect enough to give you a free night or a free flight. There is also the matter of fellow travellers. You get all sorts - I guess that's what makes us wonderfully diverse. You get the families with children (some really young, some teenagers). Myself included. They're not actually bad at all - they are self-conscious, try to keep things under control, and trying to move through as quickly and painlessly as possible. Then you get folks who go on holiday a couple of times a year, are not used to airports and their routines, and cause all sort of delays - "oh I didn't realise I had this perfume in my handbag"; "this [big bottle of body lotion] is very expensive, I want to take it with me, not check it in or leave it here" (the 100ml rules obviously are not obvious enough). And there is the faffing. I saw a movie a couple of years ago, the title escapes me, George Clooney had the lead role, and he was a frequent traveller. He gave some good points on how to travel painlessly and avoid the "faffers" - it was actually quite funny! And there's me. I used to travel light. Until I had baby G of course. Now my idea of travelling light is having a big suitcase (checked in), a rucsac (hand luggage), and G. Then if needed the pushchair. Then if needed the car seat. Any standard work I've tried so far hasn't worked. Apparently it gets easier as they grow. Really??? At least (touch wood) baby G is a really good traveller - usually no crying. So we travel about once a month - plane(s), hotels, restaurants, the whole lot. Her most recent "thing" on a plane is to walk up and down the aircraft aisle and stare at people. I find it amusing and good for guessing people's personality. It gets even funnier if she tries to touch them - either the knee, or the handbag, or the shoe. I do apologise of course and try to avoid it as much as possible, but G is getting really quick! And of course I have tried to get G her own airmiles card - not possible until she is 2, when she can join the junior club or something. Yes, I know, sad, but I might as well have some benefit!!! Restaurants are also an interesting experience - for a start, you try to find French restaurants with baby changing facilities, or even with high chairs - few and far between! So I sit G on a chair (she's only around 80 cm high, so you can imagine how cute that looks!), try to make her sit still and not throw all the food on the flow, and change her nappy with her standing on my changing mat on the toilet seat. And when we leave the restaurant, there's a war zone behind us - despite my efforts to clean up a bit. And G doesn't even make much of a fuss, she's just a normal toddler. Hotels are also interesting - they do have cots and high chairs, but space seems to somehow diminish! I used to be one of those travellers that some people probably hate. Able to fall asleep even before takeoff, travelling with 1 piece of luggage for a 1-week trip, having access to the lounge because of the air miles, etc. Oh and frowning whenever a child would start whinging. Now? Baby starts crying (not mine!), I think to myself: poor mother! And I also try to make sure that my immediate neighbours know it's not my child - I know, not nice, but why take the blame? Empathy is however sky high - really! I feel for the mothers (sorry guys, it usually is the mothers). So what next for travel? The longest flight with G was 4 hours, the longest journey about 9 hours door to door, so I'm considering long haul. Not yet, maybe next year, maybe later, but no doubt it will happen. The world is waiting to be explored...

What is "Politeness"?

I will need to start thinking about teaching baby G manners soon. So I was thinking about polite vs rude. So I had a look at Wikipedia - as you do. It says that "politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette". Culturally-bound, and England and Japan are "especially polite". They haven't been to some parts of England, but that's not the point! Wikipedia also says that swearing can be considered positive politeness - but you can read all that yourselves, I don't have to repeat it! So what is politeness? Is it saying hello, goodbye, thank you? Or is it going the extra mile French style and adding Monsieur or Madame after your bonjours, au revoirs, mercis? Is it not speaking with your mouth full and not spitting? It is being courteous towards the elderly (whether related or not)? This is turning out to be a tricky issue. The culture is one aspect. G has mixed blood so she'll have to adapt to both sides. Call me old fashioned but I like men opening doors for me. Pulling the chair out for me to sit down / get up. Paying the bill at the restaurant. Heck, even kissing my hand! Equality of sexes I hear you say! Oh no, not for me, I like men doing things for me. I like being weak every once in a while. But never ever patronise me! I respect the suffragettes, I'm not saying that those times were good for women - I would have probably been one if I lived in those times. But I do like being spoiled by men... So back to my exam question. How should I raise G? I want her to be strong, but demanding (which doesn't appear too difficult for her already!). Polite in the English sense of the word to a degree, but also direct, outspoken. We shall see. And maybe next time I will tell that person who parks in the parent and child spot without having a child in his car that he needs to be polite and considerate!

Breastfeeding-friendly organisations in the UK

I have decided to start a list of breastfeeding-friendly organisations in the UK. This list is of retailers, restaurants, public places etc that have accommodated me and baby G. They deserve acknowledgment, and have my sincere thanks. The list will probably be limited because of my limited experience, but hopefully with contributions from readers and probably me, we can expand this list. This list is by no means exhaustive, and just because an organisation is not on the list it doesn't mean that it's not breastfeeding-friendly!
So tried and tested by me:
Sainsburys
Pizza Hut
Tesco (they were willing, baby G decided she wasn't hungry anymore)
Santander
New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton
Subway

The truth about child birth

Word of warning. Don't read on unless you want to know about childbirth. And I'm not talking about Caesarian here!
Before I continue, I don't think there are two identical childbirths. Even for the same woman. There are so many variables at play, and the babies are so different, that you are simply going through a unique experience. Which makes me have all admiration for midwives, they're doing a great job at managing such complexity!
Another word of warning. Although I have been through it with baby G, I am still dreading childbirth! And it's not because baby G was so premature that she was very small. But it's because there are so many variables at play etc - see argument above!
I would have liked someone to tell me the reality about childbirth, but no one would give me details, not to the level that I wanted (no, this doesn't have any horrible details!). Yes, I have read a lot. But I didn't watch any DVDs, or documentaries, I didn't get the chance and I was a bit afraid. I also didn't get the chance to go to antenatal classes because of the very premature birth, maybe they cover a bit more?
Anyway. Back to the topic. Start with waters breaking. If they do break (doesn't always happen!) then it's like warm water, that you cannot stop. Very scary especially if you don't expect it to happen for another 11 weeks and a bit! There can be lots of it. And after the first 'wave' you can get just a treacle for a while. It can be quite a while!
Then contractions. I didn't realise that I was having Braxton-Hicks during the pregnancy, I thought it was G moving. Basically your tummy gets hard, and mine changed shape. Painless until you get to the real thing. I was induced, and apparently the oxytocin (the hormone they induce you with) makes the contractions longer and more intense. Ie more painful. Very painful in fact. I was fortunate to have a very short labour - under one hour - but that also meant that the midwife didn't get the chance to get me an epidural. So gas & air it was! That stuff makes you light-headed. And you have to breathe in really deep for it to have any effect. As for the effect, I wonder if it's more psychological than actual pain relief. Because let me assure you that you still feel the pain! And then you reach for the gas & air again! Until you get into stage 2.
Stage 2 is when the baby is coming for real. You do feel the urge to push, like they say in books. But you have to wait for the midwife to confirm, and then you push really hard. Gas & air is not allowed anymore, you must focus on the job in hand. It hurts/stings, but I guess because you focus you don't pay much notice (at least I didn't, I had to get G out fast because she was so little and vulnerable). And after a bit (or a lot, depending on how lucky you are!) of pushing, you have your baby and hopefully you get to hold him / her. And that's the reward. Unless of course your baby is premature like G, in which case no holding, straight to the paeditricians. But at least you get to see him / her. From a distance.
And it's not over. You still have the placenta. So the midwife is probably helping you get it out, but you have to push - it's like giving birth second time but with a lot less pain. And hopefully the placenta will come out by itself.
The pain is all worth it though. You get to see your baby, that tiny body that you're already deeply in love with...

A baby's smile...

Baby G has started to acknowledge me more and more. Which is great. So what happens? She'll follow me around with her eyes. And then when I look at her, she'll give me a huge, beaming smile. She's always happy to see me (wait until adolescence, that will probably change). She's also always honest with her feelings, you know exactly the mood she is in (being a girl, that will probably also change). And then there's the beaming smile... It doesn't matter what she's doing, whether she's just finished crying, or kept me standing walking around with her, or bit me while eating, when she gives me one of those huge, gums-out smiles, my heart melts. And she knows it! You can also tell that it's a smile from her heart, her cute little nose gets wrinkly, her eyes get sparkly and happy, all those subtle signs that you can instinctively detect in a true smile. Gorgeous!

Life without internet

Like a lot of other people, I have lived for quite a few years without Internet. I think it was in the very late 90s, or maybe even 2000-2001, that I started to browse to any extent. And now I'm thinking what would I do without www???
So what was I doing before Internet (and by the way no mobile phone until about 1998 either)? I'd go to university (and later work), then go out, see my friends. I had a landline so I'd have (sometimes long) chats with folks (no change there!). I'd read lots. Go see movies. Enjoy the sunshine. Live my life!
How about now? Baby G has changed a lot, but before G I'd be glued to the mobile phone, or to a computer screen. However I still managed to continue seeing my friends (who are also friends on Facebook), visiting places, studying part time (and working full time), reading (maybe not as much as before though). And I hope those activities don't stop, I enjoy the personal touch too much. I think that you can get a lot of fun out of browsing.
One of the best things though is finding information, getting good deals, managing the tedious things in your life a lot easier (paying bills, finding a good insurance provider, checking your account balance, etc). From this perspective, I don't know what I'd do without Internet! Just like direct debits, whoever invented those has all my respect!
I do wonder sometimes if we'd know how to live without Internet. Hopefully I'll never find out the answer... As long as I remember my friends, and actually meet with them not just comment on their Facebook status!

Why having a blog is difficult

There are probably thousands of articles, websites, books, etc on electronic media, keeping an online social presence, including blogs. I don't pretend to be an expert - far from it, especially as my experience is extremely limited (and my commitment seems to lack sometimes!). So over the last few days I've been thinking of writing this post to hopefully help others think twice before starting a blog.
First you need to have something interesting to write about. I rant a lot. And that's not always interesting, although some people (ok, my sister!) assure me that when I rant I'm funny. And usually the day to day life is... Well... Boring, tedious, not muc happens (fortunately). Sometimes you just don't have good subjects, or ones that such a wide audience would be remotely interested in!
Which brings me to the next issue - this IS a wide audience! Billions of people from around the world. Huge diversity, culturally and otherwise. Very different tastes. How do you please them? Keep them interested? Maybe motivate them to interact? Definitely motivate them to keep reading? Not offend them? You cannot please everyone, but in the same time you need your audience.
And related to this. This blog is in English. Your spelling must be pretty good. (God I hope mine is!) the words that you use, clear. But without playing anything down. People who read blogs are very intelligent.
How do you find or make the time? My posts are usually written in the evening or at night, when baby G is asleep. But I also need some sleep. So maintainng it can mean that you give ul something else. Just like everything in life, it's a compromise!
You also have to maintainng high levels of self-motivation. Tenacity. Keep going. Keep posting. Find interesting things to talk about. Refine your style. Accept feedback, be gracious about it.
So I hope you find some value / enjoymentin my posts! And don't forget the life outside of Internet!