Word of warning. Don't read on unless you want to know about childbirth. And I'm not talking about Caesarian here!
Before I continue, I don't think there are two identical childbirths. Even for the same woman. There are so many variables at play, and the babies are so different, that you are simply going through a unique experience. Which makes me have all admiration for midwives, they're doing a great job at managing such complexity!
Another word of warning. Although I have been through it with baby G, I am still dreading childbirth! And it's not because baby G was so premature that she was very small. But it's because there are so many variables at play etc - see argument above!
I would have liked someone to tell me the reality about childbirth, but no one would give me details, not to the level that I wanted (no, this doesn't have any horrible details!). Yes, I have read a lot. But I didn't watch any DVDs, or documentaries, I didn't get the chance and I was a bit afraid. I also didn't get the chance to go to antenatal classes because of the very premature birth, maybe they cover a bit more?
Anyway. Back to the topic. Start with waters breaking. If they do break (doesn't always happen!) then it's like warm water, that you cannot stop. Very scary especially if you don't expect it to happen for another 11 weeks and a bit! There can be lots of it. And after the first 'wave' you can get just a treacle for a while. It can be quite a while!
Then contractions. I didn't realise that I was having Braxton-Hicks during the pregnancy, I thought it was G moving. Basically your tummy gets hard, and mine changed shape. Painless until you get to the real thing. I was induced, and apparently the oxytocin (the hormone they induce you with) makes the contractions longer and more intense. Ie more painful. Very painful in fact. I was fortunate to have a very short labour - under one hour - but that also meant that the midwife didn't get the chance to get me an epidural. So gas & air it was! That stuff makes you light-headed. And you have to breathe in really deep for it to have any effect. As for the effect, I wonder if it's more psychological than actual pain relief. Because let me assure you that you still feel the pain! And then you reach for the gas & air again! Until you get into stage 2.
Stage 2 is when the baby is coming for real. You do feel the urge to push, like they say in books. But you have to wait for the midwife to confirm, and then you push really hard. Gas & air is not allowed anymore, you must focus on the job in hand. It hurts/stings, but I guess because you focus you don't pay much notice (at least I didn't, I had to get G out fast because she was so little and vulnerable). And after a bit (or a lot, depending on how lucky you are!) of pushing, you have your baby and hopefully you get to hold him / her. And that's the reward. Unless of course your baby is premature like G, in which case no holding, straight to the paeditricians. But at least you get to see him / her. From a distance.
And it's not over. You still have the placenta. So the midwife is probably helping you get it out, but you have to push - it's like giving birth second time but with a lot less pain. And hopefully the placenta will come out by itself.
The pain is all worth it though. You get to see your baby, that tiny body that you're already deeply in love with...
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