When I found out that I was pregnant, some people warned me about how relationships change. Amd ever since I kept hearing comments that a child changes the dynamics of a couple considerably. In some cases, the couple stops being that and becomes something less and more in the same time.
Before I go on, let me make this clear. This is not based on my experience, I'm too busy with baby G to do this level of introspection!!! (or maybe herein lies the issue?)
So what is the problem? How do you continue being a couple - having moments of intimacy, going out for a nice meal, having a chat about work / a film / your boss / the good looking neighbour / weather / etc (delete as appropriate)? How do you find time (and childcare) to go to the movies, go out with friends, enjoy a read before going to sleep together? I'd say, make the time. Enlist friends and / or family to help. Talk about it. I don't want to have a friendship, or a partnership. I want a relationship, to be in a couple. Yes, a child changes your life dramatically, to an extent I didn't think possible. But equally, a child should enhance the parents' life together. So go on, pack your things, the little one(s), and go on a holiday!
Any experiences or thoughts you can share?
Great to see a post on this one! I'd say that from my personal experience of being a father of 4 and 6 yo daughters, of course things change and never be the same. But then again when has life been the same? I wish I would be again a teenager, or a student, or waiting for Santa Clause age, etc.
ReplyDeleteTaking best of what's coming without losing on the things you hold dear to do is important. With one kid, from my experience, it was relatively fine, still two parents, one can handle the kid and the other one does/can do something else. With the second one there is a lot less time on our hands. And it's a fact that kids have to eat, be taken to kindergarden, played with, taken to sleep etc.
In the end having family or good friends/ ocassional nanny did help us spend evening out rather regularly. My 80 year old mother -in-law loves kids and that helps. Also we made new friends through kids, meeting other interesting parents in the playgrounds (instead of bars)...
Thank you for the encouragement...
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