So now that I have announced my Christmas excitement to the world, what am I looking forward to?
There is always the hope for snow... I live in the UK and we all know that the stuff that we get out of the sky most of the time is...rain! But I'm an eternal optimist, so maybe we'll get at least the ground covered this winter.
Then there are the lights-Christmas lights everywhere, spreading joy. And of course the tree. I usually try to protect the environment, but when it comes to the Christmas tree, nothing can beat the smell and touch of real one!
Let's not forget the food - all those goodies, savoury and sweet, that my mum is making. I don't know how she does it, but at the end of a few hard working days there are mountains of stuff ready to go straight on our hips and bellies! Wouldn't change it for the world...
I also like sending and receiving Christmas cards - the old fashion ones, on paper, with just a few hand-written words. The electronic cards are cute, but to me they lack the human touch.
And of course there is Santa or Father Christmas. And I still believe in him, in his spirit.
Sadly the father of a good friend of mine died yesterday. Heartbreaking. It has made me think about what is important. Spend as much time as you can with the ones you love, don't miss any opportunity to get together, and when you think you've done enough, do some more!
Be loved and happy - Merry Christmas everyone!
Friday, 23 December 2011
Neonatal Unit at New Cross Hospital Wolverhampton, UK rocks!
Not only they looked after baby G very well. They helped us when we came back home. Have always been on the phone if I needed them. Answered all my questions. Provided plenty of encouragement. They've even organised a Christmas party for preemies and their parents! It was not always perfect, nothing ever is. But I'm glad we ended up there.
G has been officially discharged from their care. I'll miss them a little but I'm happy we go our separate ways!
Thank you for your care. And happy holidays!
G has been officially discharged from their care. I'll miss them a little but I'm happy we go our separate ways!
Thank you for your care. And happy holidays!
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Christmas is coming!
A longer break than usual, we had a very special guest and I wanted to give this guest my full attention (or at least what G allowed me). So here I am, on a fine crisp morning, tucked in bed with baby G (and for a change, each in her own bed!), going on and on about Christmas...
We managed to get the first proper outing in our schedule. We went to Birmingham Christmas Market (Frankfurt style, they say). It was quite good, and a lot bigger than last time I went. And it still had some magic of Christmas.
What is it about Christmas markets that they feel...magic? I went to Salzburg once in December. There were Christmas Markets in every square in the city, and it was like a fairytale. All I did was walk around, the whole athmosphere was amazing! I obviously fell in love with the place...
So what is it about places around Christmas that they just give me a special feeling? Is it the lights? Is it the colder weather? Is it the special people i am with at the time? Is it the (much more than usual) people running around with a slightly desperate look on their faces, trying to get last minute Christmas shopping done, knowing that I'm almost there? Or maybe not this last one! But whatever it is, there's something that makes me become a child again (even more than I usually am) and jump with excitement. I even get excited about the Chrismas presents that I am (hopefully) going to get! Even the one that arrived yesterday and I had it opened - and that I'm going to have to wrap nicely for myself. (no, it's not a present from me to me!). One thing is for sure. My heart rate goes up with anticipation.and of course there's the thought of the Christmas tree that I'll be getting soon. A real one, maybe not environmentally friendly, but I just love the smell of a real Xmas tree, and the touch of it.
And of course, what makes this Christmas even more special is that it's the baby's first! And although her eyes probably won't light up with anticipation or with joy at seeing the presents, mine will, and hopefully we'll manage to get some wide eyes and smiles out of G!
Happy Christmas everybody!
We managed to get the first proper outing in our schedule. We went to Birmingham Christmas Market (Frankfurt style, they say). It was quite good, and a lot bigger than last time I went. And it still had some magic of Christmas.
What is it about Christmas markets that they feel...magic? I went to Salzburg once in December. There were Christmas Markets in every square in the city, and it was like a fairytale. All I did was walk around, the whole athmosphere was amazing! I obviously fell in love with the place...
So what is it about places around Christmas that they just give me a special feeling? Is it the lights? Is it the colder weather? Is it the special people i am with at the time? Is it the (much more than usual) people running around with a slightly desperate look on their faces, trying to get last minute Christmas shopping done, knowing that I'm almost there? Or maybe not this last one! But whatever it is, there's something that makes me become a child again (even more than I usually am) and jump with excitement. I even get excited about the Chrismas presents that I am (hopefully) going to get! Even the one that arrived yesterday and I had it opened - and that I'm going to have to wrap nicely for myself. (no, it's not a present from me to me!). One thing is for sure. My heart rate goes up with anticipation.and of course there's the thought of the Christmas tree that I'll be getting soon. A real one, maybe not environmentally friendly, but I just love the smell of a real Xmas tree, and the touch of it.
And of course, what makes this Christmas even more special is that it's the baby's first! And although her eyes probably won't light up with anticipation or with joy at seeing the presents, mine will, and hopefully we'll manage to get some wide eyes and smiles out of G!
Happy Christmas everybody!
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Having a premature baby part 2
So now you've given birth to your premature baby and cried for Europe and China. The fun has just started!
First it's the language. I learnt loads of acronyms, I know what they mean but for some I have no idea what the initials stand for. Examples: CPAP (a machine that gives them oxygen), NNU (neonatal unit), GERD (gastric reflux), PDA (when the duct between heart and lungs is not closed as it should be), PFO (a little hole between 2 chamber in the heart), etc. Well at least I think that's what they mean, and I'm quite educated and apparently with above average knowledge on anatomy and medicine... Generally the medical terminology - you get to know about long lines, blood transfusions, blood exchange, all sorts of blood tests, even if nothing bad happens. It can be overwhelming especially if you want to know more like I do.
You are of course still scared and counting the 1st week because it's critical, and Then watching out for signs of infection because infection and preemies don't get on well.
And all the potential problems preemies can have... I was so lucky, baby G didn't have many in comparison. Ok, there's the really bad reflux, the PDA / PFO (see above), the hernia but all these are easily corrected. I've heard and seen worse.
And have you ever tried giving a baby multivitamins and iron with a syringe? Don't because it's a nightmare. They taste disgusting (yes, I try everything once before giving it to her). They could put a bit of sugar or honey in them to make them more palatable. Obviously these folks who make them don't administer them to babies! And they have to be given to preemies until they're 12 months!!!
Of course there's also caring for them. Which is great, helps you bond a bit more. But have you ever changed the nappy on a baby who's just over 1 kg of weight? Very very scary... It gets better though. And washing them. And putting clothes on them. I remember first time I put a vest on baby G. It was one that you pull over their heads (again, manufacturers just don't know!!!). I never sweated so much in my life! But I was so proud at the end when it was on. Almost more than getting an MBA!
All in all a character building experience...
First it's the language. I learnt loads of acronyms, I know what they mean but for some I have no idea what the initials stand for. Examples: CPAP (a machine that gives them oxygen), NNU (neonatal unit), GERD (gastric reflux), PDA (when the duct between heart and lungs is not closed as it should be), PFO (a little hole between 2 chamber in the heart), etc. Well at least I think that's what they mean, and I'm quite educated and apparently with above average knowledge on anatomy and medicine... Generally the medical terminology - you get to know about long lines, blood transfusions, blood exchange, all sorts of blood tests, even if nothing bad happens. It can be overwhelming especially if you want to know more like I do.
You are of course still scared and counting the 1st week because it's critical, and Then watching out for signs of infection because infection and preemies don't get on well.
And all the potential problems preemies can have... I was so lucky, baby G didn't have many in comparison. Ok, there's the really bad reflux, the PDA / PFO (see above), the hernia but all these are easily corrected. I've heard and seen worse.
And have you ever tried giving a baby multivitamins and iron with a syringe? Don't because it's a nightmare. They taste disgusting (yes, I try everything once before giving it to her). They could put a bit of sugar or honey in them to make them more palatable. Obviously these folks who make them don't administer them to babies! And they have to be given to preemies until they're 12 months!!!
Of course there's also caring for them. Which is great, helps you bond a bit more. But have you ever changed the nappy on a baby who's just over 1 kg of weight? Very very scary... It gets better though. And washing them. And putting clothes on them. I remember first time I put a vest on baby G. It was one that you pull over their heads (again, manufacturers just don't know!!!). I never sweated so much in my life! But I was so proud at the end when it was on. Almost more than getting an MBA!
All in all a character building experience...
I hate vaccines!
There is a reason for this title. Baby G has had her second round of immunisation today. Two shots, one in each thigh, they took seconds. But the pain afterwards... Crying hysterically, not eating, generally making me feel useless and helpless in the same time.
On the plus side. Now baby G is the proud co-owner of a kids saver bank account. Co-owner because she might be only 15 weeks old, but i don't trust her to manage herown finances yet! Did you know that kids under 18 cannot have a current account? Anyway I received a "passport" with this account. It reminds me of the thing I had when I was a kid in my country of origin and I used to deposit the money I got from Carol singing at Christmas.
Two more achievements: Christmas shopping almost done - if not fully done. And yes I'm probably broke. You'd be too on maternity pay! But I'm not complaining, it could be a lot worse. Also almost finished writing and sending Christmas cards. If any of my friends read this, you should get yours, if not sorry baby brain again... Organised or what?!? Those who know me expect nothing less of course.
So what else has happened in my land? Not much. It's cold and windy - so windy that my doors won't stay closed (and no, my house is not draught proof). Oh and it's raining. But it's December in England, you can't possibly expect anything else!
Yesterday I got into the Christmas spirit. All I needed was to see the lights and I was full of holiday cheer. I don't need much to be happy!
On the plus side. Now baby G is the proud co-owner of a kids saver bank account. Co-owner because she might be only 15 weeks old, but i don't trust her to manage herown finances yet! Did you know that kids under 18 cannot have a current account? Anyway I received a "passport" with this account. It reminds me of the thing I had when I was a kid in my country of origin and I used to deposit the money I got from Carol singing at Christmas.
Two more achievements: Christmas shopping almost done - if not fully done. And yes I'm probably broke. You'd be too on maternity pay! But I'm not complaining, it could be a lot worse. Also almost finished writing and sending Christmas cards. If any of my friends read this, you should get yours, if not sorry baby brain again... Organised or what?!? Those who know me expect nothing less of course.
So what else has happened in my land? Not much. It's cold and windy - so windy that my doors won't stay closed (and no, my house is not draught proof). Oh and it's raining. But it's December in England, you can't possibly expect anything else!
Yesterday I got into the Christmas spirit. All I needed was to see the lights and I was full of holiday cheer. I don't need much to be happy!
Friday, 2 December 2011
Having a premature baby part 1
About 1 in 10 babies born in the UK are premature, by definition born before they're 37 weeks. When they're born early, preemies go into a neonatal unit, in either intensive care, high dependency, special care, or a combination thereof.
I don't think any mother is contemplating having a premature baby. I certainly wasn't but despite my efforts to keep my legs closed and keep G in, she arrived at 28 weeks and 5 days gestational age. And if you think "wow that's early!" although you're right, it could be a lot worse. There were babies in intensive care born at 24-25 weeks, and I saw some triplets born 3.5 months early. The medical staff do wonders these days!
So how is it? Well there's the initial shock - oh my god my baby wants or needs to come out! Then there's hope - maybe I can keep her in for a bit longer! The longer they stay inside, the better for their development. I think it's something like 1 day inside=1 week outside. Then the problem with the lungs - they don't fully form until 29 weeks. The fact that you don't know anything about preemies, you weren't planning on having one! A little bit of excitement that you'll meet your baby. A bit of regret that you haven't experienced the full pregnancy - although this come a bit later when you start seeing really heavily pregnant women, together with some relief that there was no back ache/ heartburns/ being too hot etc. And more feelings, the cocktail can get overwhelming.
On top of the stress that your baby is so early, there's the disappointment that you can't even hold her. As soon as they're out, unless you make an effort to see them - like I did - you'll only get to have a look when they're in the neonatal unit NNU. They go straight to the paediatricians and then in a special incubator to transport them to the NNU. Now that incubator looks impressive - it's like a mini spaceship (and yes, my sense of humour helped me).
Oh and the birth itself is a different experience. Forget about privacy. I had 1 midwife, 1 doctor, and 3 paediatricians. But more about childbirth separately!
So. You don't hold your baby, she goes straight to NNU. Then they take you to see her. And you get the shock of your life. Not only she's in an incubator attached to all sorts of medical devices that you know nothing about. She's also got all sorts of tubes coming out of all sorts of places in her tiny body. Oh and there's the size. G weighed 1.01 kg. Although she was long, about 40 cm. Seeing your baby connected to all types of machinery, with a tube in to help her breathe, after the shock of childbirth, is absolutely heartbreaking. And when you hear her cry, a weak, kitten-like cry, then you start. You can touch her but you're afraid to, she's so fragile! You do it anyway, she's your baby, you love her, want to feel her close to you. Forget about holding her, she's way too fragile for that!
Then you go back to the postnatal ward and you cry. And cry. And cry. Until you eventually fall asleep but wake up shortly after and cry again. And you keep telling yourself, you've gotta be strong for her, and you have to start getting her some milk. But you can't stop crying. You start expressing - and it's hard work, you don't get much, you get upset because you know that's what your baby needs. But you keep going because that's what your baby needs! And you take your milk to NNU whenever you manage to get a few drops, they're precious and best for her. And you keep crying, but it gets better.
After 2 days I was discharged. And worried sick because the first week is critical. At G's gestational age, 90% survive. But then you wonder whether there will be any complications. Or an developmental issues. Which by the way you won't know until much later! But you have to carry on, think positive and get that milk to the NNU.
I was going to the hospital twice a day, a few hours in the morning, home for lunch, a few hours in the afternoon. I was lucky, G was only ventilated for a night and she did great. The staff were amazing. They explain everything to you, and they encourage you to bond with your baby, and they get you involved. After a few days I was allowed to hold G for a few minutes. I'll never forget those few minutes, it was so precious, and scary in the same time, holding that weightless little body close to me. Then I started to do some cares and tube feeds.
Obviously you learn everything on the go, you never had the chance to attend antenatal or parent craft classes! But they teach you how to do everything. If you think changing the nappy on a newborn is tough, think again! Try changing it on a fragile baby just over a kilo!
How did I go through it? Well it was a challenge. I usually like challenges - although I would have preferred not to have this one! So I got my determined attitude and carried on. And I'd like to believe that all the bonding with G - holding, touching, being there, talking to her - paid off. She was out of intensive care after about 5 days, and out of high dependency and into special care after another week or so. I could bring her home after just over 5 weeks, way before her due date (when they typically can come home)! And you know what? She's worth every tear, every sleepless night, every stroke of the breastfeeding pump. More on preemies to come...
I don't think any mother is contemplating having a premature baby. I certainly wasn't but despite my efforts to keep my legs closed and keep G in, she arrived at 28 weeks and 5 days gestational age. And if you think "wow that's early!" although you're right, it could be a lot worse. There were babies in intensive care born at 24-25 weeks, and I saw some triplets born 3.5 months early. The medical staff do wonders these days!
So how is it? Well there's the initial shock - oh my god my baby wants or needs to come out! Then there's hope - maybe I can keep her in for a bit longer! The longer they stay inside, the better for their development. I think it's something like 1 day inside=1 week outside. Then the problem with the lungs - they don't fully form until 29 weeks. The fact that you don't know anything about preemies, you weren't planning on having one! A little bit of excitement that you'll meet your baby. A bit of regret that you haven't experienced the full pregnancy - although this come a bit later when you start seeing really heavily pregnant women, together with some relief that there was no back ache/ heartburns/ being too hot etc. And more feelings, the cocktail can get overwhelming.
On top of the stress that your baby is so early, there's the disappointment that you can't even hold her. As soon as they're out, unless you make an effort to see them - like I did - you'll only get to have a look when they're in the neonatal unit NNU. They go straight to the paediatricians and then in a special incubator to transport them to the NNU. Now that incubator looks impressive - it's like a mini spaceship (and yes, my sense of humour helped me).
Oh and the birth itself is a different experience. Forget about privacy. I had 1 midwife, 1 doctor, and 3 paediatricians. But more about childbirth separately!
So. You don't hold your baby, she goes straight to NNU. Then they take you to see her. And you get the shock of your life. Not only she's in an incubator attached to all sorts of medical devices that you know nothing about. She's also got all sorts of tubes coming out of all sorts of places in her tiny body. Oh and there's the size. G weighed 1.01 kg. Although she was long, about 40 cm. Seeing your baby connected to all types of machinery, with a tube in to help her breathe, after the shock of childbirth, is absolutely heartbreaking. And when you hear her cry, a weak, kitten-like cry, then you start. You can touch her but you're afraid to, she's so fragile! You do it anyway, she's your baby, you love her, want to feel her close to you. Forget about holding her, she's way too fragile for that!
Then you go back to the postnatal ward and you cry. And cry. And cry. Until you eventually fall asleep but wake up shortly after and cry again. And you keep telling yourself, you've gotta be strong for her, and you have to start getting her some milk. But you can't stop crying. You start expressing - and it's hard work, you don't get much, you get upset because you know that's what your baby needs. But you keep going because that's what your baby needs! And you take your milk to NNU whenever you manage to get a few drops, they're precious and best for her. And you keep crying, but it gets better.
After 2 days I was discharged. And worried sick because the first week is critical. At G's gestational age, 90% survive. But then you wonder whether there will be any complications. Or an developmental issues. Which by the way you won't know until much later! But you have to carry on, think positive and get that milk to the NNU.
I was going to the hospital twice a day, a few hours in the morning, home for lunch, a few hours in the afternoon. I was lucky, G was only ventilated for a night and she did great. The staff were amazing. They explain everything to you, and they encourage you to bond with your baby, and they get you involved. After a few days I was allowed to hold G for a few minutes. I'll never forget those few minutes, it was so precious, and scary in the same time, holding that weightless little body close to me. Then I started to do some cares and tube feeds.
Obviously you learn everything on the go, you never had the chance to attend antenatal or parent craft classes! But they teach you how to do everything. If you think changing the nappy on a newborn is tough, think again! Try changing it on a fragile baby just over a kilo!
How did I go through it? Well it was a challenge. I usually like challenges - although I would have preferred not to have this one! So I got my determined attitude and carried on. And I'd like to believe that all the bonding with G - holding, touching, being there, talking to her - paid off. She was out of intensive care after about 5 days, and out of high dependency and into special care after another week or so. I could bring her home after just over 5 weeks, way before her due date (when they typically can come home)! And you know what? She's worth every tear, every sleepless night, every stroke of the breastfeeding pump. More on preemies to come...
Who am I?
Maybe about time I write something non-baby related. Although from now only life will revolve around G. I digress again!
So who am I? It's not a philosophical question, just a way to introduce myself to the potential readers.
I'm a woman in her late thirties (just about) who lives in the UK although Eastern European of origin. Having lived here for a long time, I am probably "anglicised" although I miss home. I like reading and travelling. I am stubborn and apparently lack modesty. I am demanding, temperamental, impatient, optimistic, passionate. I love my family, love my friends, and like "arty" (non-American) movies. I don't like rain. I got the country wrong then!
That's it for now, the rest is to be discovered...
So who am I? It's not a philosophical question, just a way to introduce myself to the potential readers.
I'm a woman in her late thirties (just about) who lives in the UK although Eastern European of origin. Having lived here for a long time, I am probably "anglicised" although I miss home. I like reading and travelling. I am stubborn and apparently lack modesty. I am demanding, temperamental, impatient, optimistic, passionate. I love my family, love my friends, and like "arty" (non-American) movies. I don't like rain. I got the country wrong then!
That's it for now, the rest is to be discovered...
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