Monday 20 August 2012
What is "Politeness"?
I will need to start thinking about teaching baby G manners soon. So I was thinking about polite vs rude. So I had a look at Wikipedia - as you do. It says that "politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette". Culturally-bound, and England and Japan are "especially polite". They haven't been to some parts of England, but that's not the point! Wikipedia also says that swearing can be considered positive politeness - but you can read all that yourselves, I don't have to repeat it!
So what is politeness? Is it saying hello, goodbye, thank you? Or is it going the extra mile French style and adding Monsieur or Madame after your bonjours, au revoirs, mercis? Is it not speaking with your mouth full and not spitting? It is being courteous towards the elderly (whether related or not)? This is turning out to be a tricky issue. The culture is one aspect. G has mixed blood so she'll have to adapt to both sides.
Call me old fashioned but I like men opening doors for me. Pulling the chair out for me to sit down / get up. Paying the bill at the restaurant. Heck, even kissing my hand! Equality of sexes I hear you say! Oh no, not for me, I like men doing things for me. I like being weak every once in a while. But never ever patronise me! I respect the suffragettes, I'm not saying that those times were good for women - I would have probably been one if I lived in those times. But I do like being spoiled by men...
So back to my exam question. How should I raise G? I want her to be strong, but demanding (which doesn't appear too difficult for her already!). Polite in the English sense of the word to a degree, but also direct, outspoken. We shall see. And maybe next time I will tell that person who parks in the parent and child spot without having a child in his car that he needs to be polite and considerate!
Tuesday 21 February 2012
Breastfeeding-friendly organisations in the UK
I have decided to start a list of breastfeeding-friendly organisations in the UK. This list is of retailers, restaurants, public places etc that have accommodated me and baby G. They deserve acknowledgment, and have my sincere thanks. The list will probably be limited because of my limited experience, but hopefully with contributions from readers and probably me, we can expand this list. This list is by no means exhaustive, and just because an organisation is not on the list it doesn't mean that it's not breastfeeding-friendly!
So tried and tested by me:
Sainsburys
Pizza Hut
Tesco (they were willing, baby G decided she wasn't hungry anymore)
Santander
New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton
Subway
So tried and tested by me:
Sainsburys
Pizza Hut
Tesco (they were willing, baby G decided she wasn't hungry anymore)
Santander
New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton
Subway
The truth about child birth
Word of warning. Don't read on unless you want to know about childbirth. And I'm not talking about Caesarian here!
Before I continue, I don't think there are two identical childbirths. Even for the same woman. There are so many variables at play, and the babies are so different, that you are simply going through a unique experience. Which makes me have all admiration for midwives, they're doing a great job at managing such complexity!
Another word of warning. Although I have been through it with baby G, I am still dreading childbirth! And it's not because baby G was so premature that she was very small. But it's because there are so many variables at play etc - see argument above!
I would have liked someone to tell me the reality about childbirth, but no one would give me details, not to the level that I wanted (no, this doesn't have any horrible details!). Yes, I have read a lot. But I didn't watch any DVDs, or documentaries, I didn't get the chance and I was a bit afraid. I also didn't get the chance to go to antenatal classes because of the very premature birth, maybe they cover a bit more?
Anyway. Back to the topic. Start with waters breaking. If they do break (doesn't always happen!) then it's like warm water, that you cannot stop. Very scary especially if you don't expect it to happen for another 11 weeks and a bit! There can be lots of it. And after the first 'wave' you can get just a treacle for a while. It can be quite a while!
Then contractions. I didn't realise that I was having Braxton-Hicks during the pregnancy, I thought it was G moving. Basically your tummy gets hard, and mine changed shape. Painless until you get to the real thing. I was induced, and apparently the oxytocin (the hormone they induce you with) makes the contractions longer and more intense. Ie more painful. Very painful in fact. I was fortunate to have a very short labour - under one hour - but that also meant that the midwife didn't get the chance to get me an epidural. So gas & air it was! That stuff makes you light-headed. And you have to breathe in really deep for it to have any effect. As for the effect, I wonder if it's more psychological than actual pain relief. Because let me assure you that you still feel the pain! And then you reach for the gas & air again! Until you get into stage 2.
Stage 2 is when the baby is coming for real. You do feel the urge to push, like they say in books. But you have to wait for the midwife to confirm, and then you push really hard. Gas & air is not allowed anymore, you must focus on the job in hand. It hurts/stings, but I guess because you focus you don't pay much notice (at least I didn't, I had to get G out fast because she was so little and vulnerable). And after a bit (or a lot, depending on how lucky you are!) of pushing, you have your baby and hopefully you get to hold him / her. And that's the reward. Unless of course your baby is premature like G, in which case no holding, straight to the paeditricians. But at least you get to see him / her. From a distance.
And it's not over. You still have the placenta. So the midwife is probably helping you get it out, but you have to push - it's like giving birth second time but with a lot less pain. And hopefully the placenta will come out by itself.
The pain is all worth it though. You get to see your baby, that tiny body that you're already deeply in love with...
Before I continue, I don't think there are two identical childbirths. Even for the same woman. There are so many variables at play, and the babies are so different, that you are simply going through a unique experience. Which makes me have all admiration for midwives, they're doing a great job at managing such complexity!
Another word of warning. Although I have been through it with baby G, I am still dreading childbirth! And it's not because baby G was so premature that she was very small. But it's because there are so many variables at play etc - see argument above!
I would have liked someone to tell me the reality about childbirth, but no one would give me details, not to the level that I wanted (no, this doesn't have any horrible details!). Yes, I have read a lot. But I didn't watch any DVDs, or documentaries, I didn't get the chance and I was a bit afraid. I also didn't get the chance to go to antenatal classes because of the very premature birth, maybe they cover a bit more?
Anyway. Back to the topic. Start with waters breaking. If they do break (doesn't always happen!) then it's like warm water, that you cannot stop. Very scary especially if you don't expect it to happen for another 11 weeks and a bit! There can be lots of it. And after the first 'wave' you can get just a treacle for a while. It can be quite a while!
Then contractions. I didn't realise that I was having Braxton-Hicks during the pregnancy, I thought it was G moving. Basically your tummy gets hard, and mine changed shape. Painless until you get to the real thing. I was induced, and apparently the oxytocin (the hormone they induce you with) makes the contractions longer and more intense. Ie more painful. Very painful in fact. I was fortunate to have a very short labour - under one hour - but that also meant that the midwife didn't get the chance to get me an epidural. So gas & air it was! That stuff makes you light-headed. And you have to breathe in really deep for it to have any effect. As for the effect, I wonder if it's more psychological than actual pain relief. Because let me assure you that you still feel the pain! And then you reach for the gas & air again! Until you get into stage 2.
Stage 2 is when the baby is coming for real. You do feel the urge to push, like they say in books. But you have to wait for the midwife to confirm, and then you push really hard. Gas & air is not allowed anymore, you must focus on the job in hand. It hurts/stings, but I guess because you focus you don't pay much notice (at least I didn't, I had to get G out fast because she was so little and vulnerable). And after a bit (or a lot, depending on how lucky you are!) of pushing, you have your baby and hopefully you get to hold him / her. And that's the reward. Unless of course your baby is premature like G, in which case no holding, straight to the paeditricians. But at least you get to see him / her. From a distance.
And it's not over. You still have the placenta. So the midwife is probably helping you get it out, but you have to push - it's like giving birth second time but with a lot less pain. And hopefully the placenta will come out by itself.
The pain is all worth it though. You get to see your baby, that tiny body that you're already deeply in love with...
A baby's smile...
Baby G has started to acknowledge me more and more. Which is great. So what happens? She'll follow me around with her eyes. And then when I look at her, she'll give me a huge, beaming smile. She's always happy to see me (wait until adolescence, that will probably change). She's also always honest with her feelings, you know exactly the mood she is in (being a girl, that will probably also change). And then there's the beaming smile... It doesn't matter what she's doing, whether she's just finished crying, or kept me standing walking around with her, or bit me while eating, when she gives me one of those huge, gums-out smiles, my heart melts. And she knows it! You can also tell that it's a smile from her heart, her cute little nose gets wrinkly, her eyes get sparkly and happy, all those subtle signs that you can instinctively detect in a true smile. Gorgeous!
Life without internet
Like a lot of other people, I have lived for quite a few years without Internet. I think it was in the very late 90s, or maybe even 2000-2001, that I started to browse to any extent. And now I'm thinking what would I do without www???
So what was I doing before Internet (and by the way no mobile phone until about 1998 either)? I'd go to university (and later work), then go out, see my friends. I had a landline so I'd have (sometimes long) chats with folks (no change there!). I'd read lots. Go see movies. Enjoy the sunshine. Live my life!
How about now? Baby G has changed a lot, but before G I'd be glued to the mobile phone, or to a computer screen. However I still managed to continue seeing my friends (who are also friends on Facebook), visiting places, studying part time (and working full time), reading (maybe not as much as before though). And I hope those activities don't stop, I enjoy the personal touch too much. I think that you can get a lot of fun out of browsing.
One of the best things though is finding information, getting good deals, managing the tedious things in your life a lot easier (paying bills, finding a good insurance provider, checking your account balance, etc). From this perspective, I don't know what I'd do without Internet! Just like direct debits, whoever invented those has all my respect!
I do wonder sometimes if we'd know how to live without Internet. Hopefully I'll never find out the answer... As long as I remember my friends, and actually meet with them not just comment on their Facebook status!
So what was I doing before Internet (and by the way no mobile phone until about 1998 either)? I'd go to university (and later work), then go out, see my friends. I had a landline so I'd have (sometimes long) chats with folks (no change there!). I'd read lots. Go see movies. Enjoy the sunshine. Live my life!
How about now? Baby G has changed a lot, but before G I'd be glued to the mobile phone, or to a computer screen. However I still managed to continue seeing my friends (who are also friends on Facebook), visiting places, studying part time (and working full time), reading (maybe not as much as before though). And I hope those activities don't stop, I enjoy the personal touch too much. I think that you can get a lot of fun out of browsing.
One of the best things though is finding information, getting good deals, managing the tedious things in your life a lot easier (paying bills, finding a good insurance provider, checking your account balance, etc). From this perspective, I don't know what I'd do without Internet! Just like direct debits, whoever invented those has all my respect!
I do wonder sometimes if we'd know how to live without Internet. Hopefully I'll never find out the answer... As long as I remember my friends, and actually meet with them not just comment on their Facebook status!
Why having a blog is difficult
There are probably thousands of articles, websites, books, etc on electronic media, keeping an online social presence, including blogs. I don't pretend to be an expert - far from it, especially as my experience is extremely limited (and my commitment seems to lack sometimes!). So over the last few days I've been thinking of writing this post to hopefully help others think twice before starting a blog.
First you need to have something interesting to write about. I rant a lot. And that's not always interesting, although some people (ok, my sister!) assure me that when I rant I'm funny. And usually the day to day life is... Well... Boring, tedious, not muc happens (fortunately). Sometimes you just don't have good subjects, or ones that such a wide audience would be remotely interested in!
Which brings me to the next issue - this IS a wide audience! Billions of people from around the world. Huge diversity, culturally and otherwise. Very different tastes. How do you please them? Keep them interested? Maybe motivate them to interact? Definitely motivate them to keep reading? Not offend them? You cannot please everyone, but in the same time you need your audience.
And related to this. This blog is in English. Your spelling must be pretty good. (God I hope mine is!) the words that you use, clear. But without playing anything down. People who read blogs are very intelligent.
How do you find or make the time? My posts are usually written in the evening or at night, when baby G is asleep. But I also need some sleep. So maintainng it can mean that you give ul something else. Just like everything in life, it's a compromise!
You also have to maintainng high levels of self-motivation. Tenacity. Keep going. Keep posting. Find interesting things to talk about. Refine your style. Accept feedback, be gracious about it.
So I hope you find some value / enjoymentin my posts! And don't forget the life outside of Internet!
First you need to have something interesting to write about. I rant a lot. And that's not always interesting, although some people (ok, my sister!) assure me that when I rant I'm funny. And usually the day to day life is... Well... Boring, tedious, not muc happens (fortunately). Sometimes you just don't have good subjects, or ones that such a wide audience would be remotely interested in!
Which brings me to the next issue - this IS a wide audience! Billions of people from around the world. Huge diversity, culturally and otherwise. Very different tastes. How do you please them? Keep them interested? Maybe motivate them to interact? Definitely motivate them to keep reading? Not offend them? You cannot please everyone, but in the same time you need your audience.
And related to this. This blog is in English. Your spelling must be pretty good. (God I hope mine is!) the words that you use, clear. But without playing anything down. People who read blogs are very intelligent.
How do you find or make the time? My posts are usually written in the evening or at night, when baby G is asleep. But I also need some sleep. So maintainng it can mean that you give ul something else. Just like everything in life, it's a compromise!
You also have to maintainng high levels of self-motivation. Tenacity. Keep going. Keep posting. Find interesting things to talk about. Refine your style. Accept feedback, be gracious about it.
So I hope you find some value / enjoymentin my posts! And don't forget the life outside of Internet!
Wednesday 1 February 2012
Politics
What is going on in the world? First there is the (unlikely to end soon) recession. I'm not doom and gloom, in fact I am an optimist. But I am also an economist, and I do have some common sense despite popular belief. And I know that if we (individuals, groups, countries) continue to do what we've been doi g so far, we won't get anything different from the current dire results. Then there's people's reaction to the recession. Some burry their heads in sand. It won't affect me, I've got a job, I'm ok. No, because there are too many things outside of our control as individuals. And lack of action is probably worse than the wrong kind of action.
Then there are the politicians. And I'm not necessarily, or not just, thinking about the UK. In fact they're not too bad here. I'm thinking of politicians in countries badly affected (Greece, Italy spring to mind) and in my home country Romania.
I am proud of being Romanian. Maybe that's why it makes me so angry when I see glimses of Romanian politics. There's a lot of rhetoric. What would you expect? It is politics after all! But there is a lot of finger pointing. Trying to prove a point (after the fact) as if we didn't know that we are all smarter when we look at things with hindsight! And there is a lot of inaction, or at least that's my perception.
Since when do politicians go on strike? Well, if you haven't heard it before, apparently they are going on strike. When it would be much better to just pull our efforts together, and come up with solutions.
I am a law-abiding citizen, who votes, but unfortunately does not see the point of becoming a politician. I wonder, if people like me were to get involved in the politics, wouldn't world be a better place???
Then there are the politicians. And I'm not necessarily, or not just, thinking about the UK. In fact they're not too bad here. I'm thinking of politicians in countries badly affected (Greece, Italy spring to mind) and in my home country Romania.
I am proud of being Romanian. Maybe that's why it makes me so angry when I see glimses of Romanian politics. There's a lot of rhetoric. What would you expect? It is politics after all! But there is a lot of finger pointing. Trying to prove a point (after the fact) as if we didn't know that we are all smarter when we look at things with hindsight! And there is a lot of inaction, or at least that's my perception.
Since when do politicians go on strike? Well, if you haven't heard it before, apparently they are going on strike. When it would be much better to just pull our efforts together, and come up with solutions.
I am a law-abiding citizen, who votes, but unfortunately does not see the point of becoming a politician. I wonder, if people like me were to get involved in the politics, wouldn't world be a better place???
Self sufficiency
This evening, after a rough afternoon with baby G, I have decided to take a break from leadership and such articles and to return to my neglected blog. I've been thinking for a while, how would it be to become self-sufficient? You know, grow your own fruit and veg, keep chickens, have a cow and pigs etc... The wonderful, blissful country life, away from the "ratrace". Since I bought my house, I've been toying with the idea of growing my own stuff. No, not live stock, that would be way too much! But some herbs and maybe other things that are not too high maintenance.
So, the first step to self sufficiency has now been made. My mum has done such a great job clearing part of the garden that I couldn't not take advantage. So off to shops we went. And came back with seeds for onions, garlic, radishes, peas, lettuce, and can't remember what else. Obviously I'm not that serious about this since I can't even remember what is to be planted, but my mum is! We already have some herbs (or whatever is left after the slug attack we had in the autumn), so now I am looking forward to the Coven crop.
Could I do it on a bigger scale? I don't think so. I quite like the ratrace. And I guess I also got a bit lazy. Probably the power of capitalism, if you can buy the stuff why work hard to get it yourself?! Especially as my yield would be nowhere near was good as the professionals', and we should listen to Porter and the likes who kept talking about competitive advantage. I somehow don't think agriculture is mine! Could be an interesting hobby. So if I remember, I will keep folks posted on the crop situation!
So, the first step to self sufficiency has now been made. My mum has done such a great job clearing part of the garden that I couldn't not take advantage. So off to shops we went. And came back with seeds for onions, garlic, radishes, peas, lettuce, and can't remember what else. Obviously I'm not that serious about this since I can't even remember what is to be planted, but my mum is! We already have some herbs (or whatever is left after the slug attack we had in the autumn), so now I am looking forward to the Coven crop.
Could I do it on a bigger scale? I don't think so. I quite like the ratrace. And I guess I also got a bit lazy. Probably the power of capitalism, if you can buy the stuff why work hard to get it yourself?! Especially as my yield would be nowhere near was good as the professionals', and we should listen to Porter and the likes who kept talking about competitive advantage. I somehow don't think agriculture is mine! Could be an interesting hobby. So if I remember, I will keep folks posted on the crop situation!
Saturday 21 January 2012
Working mothers
Yet another milestone in my and baby G's life. I went to work for 3 days this week. Thought, how hard can it be?!? Quite hard, actually.
Before G, I kept thinking whenever a friend or colleague took a long time off with her baby (one year or longer), how can they take so much time off? Aren't they getting bored? Besides, being "out of circulation" work-wise for such a long time surely makes you a bit rusty! Now I understand...
The UK has some progressive stuff in its maternity regulations. For starters, maternity leave can be up to a year. Ok pay is rubbish unless the company you work for is generous, but it's one year! Then, you can go to work for a few days to keep in touch before coming back to work. You can also "give" some of your maternity leave to the father (not that I know any man who took this fantastic opportunity...either sexist or old fashioned or of course they get paid more than women!). And if you're still breastfeeding when you return to work you are entitled to certain adjustments.
So I had 3 days at work this week. I thought, great! Let's see if my brain is still working. I love my job, and I love the company I work for. So I'd been looking forward to these days but also been apprehensive about leaving baby G. And off to work I go...
First day was great. After a partly sleepless night of course, it was after all the first day back as a mother! It was exciting, I got back into it instantly (I guess all those emails helped!), not much had changed which also helped, and my regular breaks to go home and feed G were working well.
Day 2 came. And G was in a bad mood. When I was coming home to feed her, she wouldn't even look at me. Smiling was completely off the table! It was as if she was really upset with me. I had the silent treatment. Now I know how men feel when they get that! And worse, I knew how mothers feel when they go back to work.
Fortunately things got better in the evening, and day 3 was more bearable - and G was treating me more nicely as well. It made me realise how hard it is to go back to work - less tiring than staying at home with youor baby (yes, really!) but missing them, seeing their little faces with your minds' eyes, needing a cuddle, and then going home to be punished is a lot to cope with!
Will I go back to work? Yes. Full time, after 7 months off. Needs must, and I really do love work. The experience has however made me a bit more understanding... so watch out, there will be a lot of talking about the baby from me!
Before G, I kept thinking whenever a friend or colleague took a long time off with her baby (one year or longer), how can they take so much time off? Aren't they getting bored? Besides, being "out of circulation" work-wise for such a long time surely makes you a bit rusty! Now I understand...
The UK has some progressive stuff in its maternity regulations. For starters, maternity leave can be up to a year. Ok pay is rubbish unless the company you work for is generous, but it's one year! Then, you can go to work for a few days to keep in touch before coming back to work. You can also "give" some of your maternity leave to the father (not that I know any man who took this fantastic opportunity...either sexist or old fashioned or of course they get paid more than women!). And if you're still breastfeeding when you return to work you are entitled to certain adjustments.
So I had 3 days at work this week. I thought, great! Let's see if my brain is still working. I love my job, and I love the company I work for. So I'd been looking forward to these days but also been apprehensive about leaving baby G. And off to work I go...
First day was great. After a partly sleepless night of course, it was after all the first day back as a mother! It was exciting, I got back into it instantly (I guess all those emails helped!), not much had changed which also helped, and my regular breaks to go home and feed G were working well.
Day 2 came. And G was in a bad mood. When I was coming home to feed her, she wouldn't even look at me. Smiling was completely off the table! It was as if she was really upset with me. I had the silent treatment. Now I know how men feel when they get that! And worse, I knew how mothers feel when they go back to work.
Fortunately things got better in the evening, and day 3 was more bearable - and G was treating me more nicely as well. It made me realise how hard it is to go back to work - less tiring than staying at home with youor baby (yes, really!) but missing them, seeing their little faces with your minds' eyes, needing a cuddle, and then going home to be punished is a lot to cope with!
Will I go back to work? Yes. Full time, after 7 months off. Needs must, and I really do love work. The experience has however made me a bit more understanding... so watch out, there will be a lot of talking about the baby from me!
Wednesday 11 January 2012
Relationships and children
When I found out that I was pregnant, some people warned me about how relationships change. Amd ever since I kept hearing comments that a child changes the dynamics of a couple considerably. In some cases, the couple stops being that and becomes something less and more in the same time.
Before I go on, let me make this clear. This is not based on my experience, I'm too busy with baby G to do this level of introspection!!! (or maybe herein lies the issue?)
So what is the problem? How do you continue being a couple - having moments of intimacy, going out for a nice meal, having a chat about work / a film / your boss / the good looking neighbour / weather / etc (delete as appropriate)? How do you find time (and childcare) to go to the movies, go out with friends, enjoy a read before going to sleep together? I'd say, make the time. Enlist friends and / or family to help. Talk about it. I don't want to have a friendship, or a partnership. I want a relationship, to be in a couple. Yes, a child changes your life dramatically, to an extent I didn't think possible. But equally, a child should enhance the parents' life together. So go on, pack your things, the little one(s), and go on a holiday!
Any experiences or thoughts you can share?
Before I go on, let me make this clear. This is not based on my experience, I'm too busy with baby G to do this level of introspection!!! (or maybe herein lies the issue?)
So what is the problem? How do you continue being a couple - having moments of intimacy, going out for a nice meal, having a chat about work / a film / your boss / the good looking neighbour / weather / etc (delete as appropriate)? How do you find time (and childcare) to go to the movies, go out with friends, enjoy a read before going to sleep together? I'd say, make the time. Enlist friends and / or family to help. Talk about it. I don't want to have a friendship, or a partnership. I want a relationship, to be in a couple. Yes, a child changes your life dramatically, to an extent I didn't think possible. But equally, a child should enhance the parents' life together. So go on, pack your things, the little one(s), and go on a holiday!
Any experiences or thoughts you can share?
Dream and reality
Last night I was very busy. I couldn't fall asleep to start with (was it the full moon? The Transylvanian in me?). Then I had a very vivid dream, which lasted a long time, and was multilingual (show off!).
Which then made me stay awake thinking about dreams and reality. Some people believe that dreams are like premonitions - they give you early warnings of what it is to come. Others say that dreams have their roots in the happenings of the day/week/mnth/year/childhood etc.
What do I think? Here's my two-pence (or two-cents) worth, based on some of the stuff I read and on what I believe.
The human brain gathers information all day and all night. But we are extremely busy during the day, running around doing out usual stuff. So the brain doesn't get the chance to catch up with itself. We also don't have a lot of time to carefully think through options in order to make the best decisions. When we sleep, the brain has this chance to "catch it's breath" and quietly and calmly think things through. So it goes through the events of the day/week/month etc and signals go between it's different parts. So we dream based on what our subconscious or even unconscious processes. Those dreams are either the effect of some important events, or hidden wishes that we have, frustrations, desires, even fears... Or short glimses of what the future might hold based on the decisions we have just made. Dreams can also send us some messages on dangers ahead, which instinctively our brain (probably the amigdala) recognises, but we (intelligent, advanced beings that we are) ignore completely.
sweet dreams everyone!
Which then made me stay awake thinking about dreams and reality. Some people believe that dreams are like premonitions - they give you early warnings of what it is to come. Others say that dreams have their roots in the happenings of the day/week/mnth/year/childhood etc.
What do I think? Here's my two-pence (or two-cents) worth, based on some of the stuff I read and on what I believe.
The human brain gathers information all day and all night. But we are extremely busy during the day, running around doing out usual stuff. So the brain doesn't get the chance to catch up with itself. We also don't have a lot of time to carefully think through options in order to make the best decisions. When we sleep, the brain has this chance to "catch it's breath" and quietly and calmly think things through. So it goes through the events of the day/week/month etc and signals go between it's different parts. So we dream based on what our subconscious or even unconscious processes. Those dreams are either the effect of some important events, or hidden wishes that we have, frustrations, desires, even fears... Or short glimses of what the future might hold based on the decisions we have just made. Dreams can also send us some messages on dangers ahead, which instinctively our brain (probably the amigdala) recognises, but we (intelligent, advanced beings that we are) ignore completely.
sweet dreams everyone!
Sunday 1 January 2012
The War of Sexes
I've been thinking of this for a few good days now... What is it that is making us, men and women, so different, to the point of fighting (and sometimes inflicting pain, physical or psychological)? From the point of view of a woman (I know, flawed already!), there are millions of reasons... If you lack a good sense of humour, better stop reading now. And before you carry on, I am not a feminist - in fact I love men, couldn't live without them, life would be too dull!
Are men really from Mars and women from Venus? If we believe that men are warriors - or ready to get into fights - and women are beautiful (which they are of course!) then yes. And if you're not sure why, Mars was the god of war and Venus the goddess of beauty in the Roman mythology. I digress!
Can women read maps? I can! And I don't like it when I'm told that women can't read maps or do any orienteering - that's a good enough reason to start a war! And besides, I think women are brave enough to stop and ask for directions, shamelessly:-).
Multitasking... Why is it that men typically have to concentrate on one thing at a time (and sometimes not even finish it!)? As for women... I sometimes talk on the phone while working on something and answering someone else's questions in the same time - and usually not failing any of these tasks! Not that one could fail chatting but that's beside the point!
And why is it that we are programmed from when we are kids in being so different? I would love to be able to fix my plumbing, or replace the electrics, connect the dishwasher, drill holes, etc etc etc. In fact I've been seriously considering enrolling on a course to learn how to do all these. Maybe at some point in the future... Or look at professions. Far more men are engineers, far more women are nurses. And although women probably cook more than men at home, apparently the best chefs are men. Although a man told me that, so I'm not so sure about that!
Not to mention pay differentials - I think in the UK the pay gap is 25%, I won't be working by the time the gap is closed at the current rate. If I'm still alive to see that day I'll be lucky!
I don't believe in quotas, forcing things in. I believe in meritocracy. There are differences, and we should celebrate them, they are what makes us individuals!
Have fun battling!!!
Are men really from Mars and women from Venus? If we believe that men are warriors - or ready to get into fights - and women are beautiful (which they are of course!) then yes. And if you're not sure why, Mars was the god of war and Venus the goddess of beauty in the Roman mythology. I digress!
Can women read maps? I can! And I don't like it when I'm told that women can't read maps or do any orienteering - that's a good enough reason to start a war! And besides, I think women are brave enough to stop and ask for directions, shamelessly:-).
Multitasking... Why is it that men typically have to concentrate on one thing at a time (and sometimes not even finish it!)? As for women... I sometimes talk on the phone while working on something and answering someone else's questions in the same time - and usually not failing any of these tasks! Not that one could fail chatting but that's beside the point!
And why is it that we are programmed from when we are kids in being so different? I would love to be able to fix my plumbing, or replace the electrics, connect the dishwasher, drill holes, etc etc etc. In fact I've been seriously considering enrolling on a course to learn how to do all these. Maybe at some point in the future... Or look at professions. Far more men are engineers, far more women are nurses. And although women probably cook more than men at home, apparently the best chefs are men. Although a man told me that, so I'm not so sure about that!
Not to mention pay differentials - I think in the UK the pay gap is 25%, I won't be working by the time the gap is closed at the current rate. If I'm still alive to see that day I'll be lucky!
I don't believe in quotas, forcing things in. I believe in meritocracy. There are differences, and we should celebrate them, they are what makes us individuals!
Have fun battling!!!
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